Mentoring

What is mentoring? 

One-to-one, supportive connections between newer members (mentees) and experienced members (mentors) from the same group.

Why is mentoring helpful?

• Supports members at their hardest time.

• Provides fulfillment and meaning to mentors.

• Boosts meeting participation (research).

What is the mentoring experience?

Mentorship is as unique as the people involved. 

• Sharing: deep exchanges (by phone, text, or whatever works) that offer perspective and illuminate the healing journey.

• Supporting: non-judgemental listening, compassion, and encouragement for stability and hope.

• Learning: exploring and developing the skills of healing and thriving together. 

• Questioning: inquiring into self-care, boundaries, or whatever helps. 

  • How could you best be supported right now?

  • Do you want me to just listen or respond?

  • What might a healthy, wise, compassionate, adult do in your situation?

• Celebrating: recognizing and acknowledging progress, especially when it is hard to see.

• Reciprocating: mentor and mentee are both uplifted in their mutual growth.

How do I request a mentor?

Any HEAL member may apply for a mentor if they have attended at least two (2) meetings. 

How can I become a mentor?

Any HEAL member may apply to be a mentor who is:

• Available to reach out and respond reliably.

• Experienced with a year in HEAL or similar healing). Mentors need not feel 100% healed.

• Safe to maintain privacy and professionalism.

Wonderful mentors also have these qualities:

• Presence to hold mentees with equanimity.

• Compassion, empathy, and non-judgement.

• Positivity in thoughts, words, and actions.

• Authenticity in giving honest perspectives.

• Engagement to join meetings with mentees.

• Self-care to keep mentorship robust.

How are mentoring matches made?

Details provided by mentees and mentors help create safe, comfortable, and mutually helpful matches.

• Mentors and mentees are from the same group.

• Genders and/or sexual orientations are considered to maximize safety for everyone, including partners. 

• Similarities (such as age, reconciliation status, stage of recovery, etc.) are also considered.

How long does mentorship last?

• As long as mentee and mentor both wish, usually one or two seasons (3-6 months).

• Either person may let the other know they are moving on, thank them, and wish them well.

• Mentees may find another mentor, and/or move into a mentor role themselves. 

• Mentors are re-matched periodically, or can ask the mentorship coordinator to retire or take a break.

What about support and feedback?

• The mentorship coordinator can be contacted for support during mentoring.

• Feedback (anonymous or not) is welcomed.

Are there other one-to-one connections?

HEAL members can use "Reply to Author" on any forum post to reply to a person individually (rather than the whole group). Note the person may not reply and email addresses are hidden.